![]() You see, this wasn't just some cheap sexist ploy to make more money by treating the female body as both a literal and figurative piece of meat. The authors, three Duke professors, prefaced their book defending their use of "female models as model females" with all the wit and sophistication of a trio of balding middle-aged men whose midlife crises have synchronized: Until 1971, when the University of Duke put a stop to this injustice - by putting the porno straight into the textbooks.Īnd this wasn't some prank by one of those problematic frats that rank all the women on campus by hotness and make pledges fuck a goat. Wearing blackface at frat parties was fine, affirmative action kept all the smart girls out, and if you got bored of the lectures, you could slip a dirty mag into the textbook and gawk at that instead. The '60s were a simpler, dumber time for boys in college. ![]() Related: 6 Common Myths About Healthy Eating You Probably Believe 3 The Anatomy Textbook That Looks Like A Playboy What his actual intentions are, we'll never know - Thure Brandt died unexpectedly in the same year as his alien textbook was published. A good way to compensate for this would be to use diagrams of asexual, unsexy Holocaust crash dummies. Brandt was aware that his hysterical handjobs and c-word calisthenics would be looked at as another way to threaten Victorian women with a good time. Nabu Press 50 Shades of Grey Alien.Nabu Press Continue Reading Belowīut why not use drawings of healthy humans instead of these OBGYN otherworldly visitors? Published only a decade after the invention of the medical vibrator, perhaps Dr. This includes "stroking the loins and sacral regions" of female patients, then inserting fingers to create "pressure combined with vibrating shaking." According to Brandt, this holistic technique could clear up all kinds of things such as uterine swelling, excessive bleeding, and whether or not you're a squirter. #MIDICO CRACK MANUAL#This part of the manual sees two darker-looking extraterrestrials inserting their phone home fingers into the first visitor to administer pelvic physiotherapy. Nabu Press "I think I shrink-rayed your penis." "That's my clitoris." The other is what Brandt called the "mechanical treatment of diseases of the uterus." Or should I say "manual treatment" as this technique relies heavily on clinical finger blasting. We hail from an ice planet.”īut yonic yoga poses are only part of maintaining a healthy womb. Or this one, which is called the "necromancers helping a fresh zombie out of its grave." Nabu Press In German, that's all one word. Like this exercise, which is called, if my German is correct, the "freak of nature flailing around in existential pain." Most of the illustrations showcase these gangly Grey-looking humanoids doing gymnastic poses like they're limbering up for a Zumba class on Zemnia 5. To illustrate these exercises, Brandt chose to forgo the typical human diagrams and instead insist on using stick figures drawn by a traumatized kindergartener. Written by gynecological guru Thure Brandt (which is definitely not what an alien would think a human name sounds like), Die Heilgymnastik in der Gynaekologie was a revolutionary manual on exercising the female genitals to achieve a healthy uterus. ![]() Did I say women? I meant androgynous '50s sci-fi aliens. #MIDICO CRACK SERIES#At least, that's what one would surmise from paging through Die Heilgymnastik in der Gynaekologie: und die mechanische Behandlung von Erkrankungen des Uterus und seiner Adnexe nach Thure Brandt, an 1895 gynecological textbook that depicts a series of uterine manipulation techniques to be applied to women. #MIDICO CRACK HOW TO#Not content to show us how to do fire and pyramids, it seems that aliens also needed to show us how to work a vagina. But if you're very lucky, they'll just give you a pap smear and cure your yeast infection. Or have probes go into cavities no probe has gone before. ![]() 4 Aliens Show You The Path To A Healthy Uterus In This Gynaecological TextbookĪnyone who has ever folded a tinfoil sheet into an ushanka has feared what would happen if they woke up on the operating table of a UFO. ![]()
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